I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
