Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
