yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
