LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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