I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize