I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I did not marry a roomba.
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