i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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