the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
