i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.