So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse