I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
