And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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