Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
