how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
