The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
