i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
