Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
