I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
