is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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