Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize