what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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