went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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