i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
