Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
