just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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