I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
