a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize