You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
