Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
