Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
