I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
