i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
The ass gains better be worth it
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