We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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