he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
