Will you blow on my dice?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
