like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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