So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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