No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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