is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
