I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
