Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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