its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
