Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
