hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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