Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
