He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
