i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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