she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize