Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
