I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
