Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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