No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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