Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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