She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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