Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When are your genitals available?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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