If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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