I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
