Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
