yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
