You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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