Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
