just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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