Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
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Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.