WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media