I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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