I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
