I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize