You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
