I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize