Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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