just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
