dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm like, not good at living.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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