i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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